How can parents help a teenager balance enjoying harmless trends without losing their individuality? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is perfectly natural for teenagers to want to participate in harmless online trends, such as funny dances, light-hearted memes, or creative challenges. These activities can be enjoyable and can help them to feel connected to their friends. The concern for parents arises when following trends becomes a teenager’s primary mode of self-expression, potentially leading to a loss of individuality. The goal is to guide them towards a healthy balance, allowing them to enjoy trends while also nurturing their own unique identity. 

Acknowledge the Fun in Trends 

Start by affirming that enjoying safe, harmless trends is not automatically a bad thing. You could say: ‘We know it is fun for you to join in with what your friends are doing sometimes, and it can be a nice way to relax and connect.’ This validation prevents your teenager from feeling unnecessarily restricted or misunderstood. 

Encourage Reflection on Identity 

Gently encourage them to think about their own unique qualities by asking: ‘What are the things that make you special, separate from any online trends?’ This helps to guide them towards the understanding that while trends are temporary, their real individuality is built on their unique talents, values, and personality. 

Promote a Balance in Self-Expression 

Actively support your teenager in developing hobbies, skills, or creative projects that are a true reflection of who they are. This could be anything from writing and art to sports, volunteering, or pursuing Islamic knowledge. This ensures that their sense of self is not solely dependent on copying what others are doing online. 

Model Healthy Engagement Yourself 

Parents who are able to balance social enjoyment with their own personal authenticity set a powerful and convincing example. It is important to show your children through your own actions that it is possible to enjoy light-hearted fun without letting it define who you are as a person. 

By validating the harmless fun of trends while actively protecting and nurturing their individuality, parents can help their teenagers to develop the confidence to be both socially connected and uniquely themselves. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that believers can and should enjoy everything that is halal and wholesome, while also being careful to protect their own dignity and unique identity. Participating in harmless trends is not forbidden, but a believer’s true value will always be found in their sincerity and character, not in mere imitation of others. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verses 70: 

‘ Indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have honoured the descendants of Adam; and fostered them over the land and the sea; and provided sustenance for them with purified nourishment; and We gave them preferential treatment over many of those (species) We have created with special privileges.‘ 

This verse reminds us that every human being has been created with their own unique honour and dignity. Our worth is inherent and does not need to be validated by copying the behaviour of others. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, 5534, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk and the blacksmith’ 

This teaching serves as a powerful reminder that the company we keep, which in the modern age includes the online trends we follow and the influencers we imitate, will inevitably have an influence on who we become. 

By showing teenagers that harmless fun can be balanced with a strong and unique identity, parents can nurture both joy and strength of character. This helps them to learn, over time, that while enjoying trends can be a part of life, their real and lasting honour is found in staying true to themselves and their faith.