How can parents guide children who measure their confidence by how quickly peers like or share their trend posts? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is increasingly common for children and teenagers to equate their self-worth with the speed and volume of likes or shares their online posts receive. If this digital engagement is slow to arrive, they can feel rejected, anxious, or unimportant. This reliance on external validation makes their confidence extremely fragile and easily shaken. The role of parents is to help their children disconnect their sense of self-value from these online metrics, and instead build a resilient confidence that is rooted in their character. 

Validate Their Feelings, Then Redirect 

Acknowledge their emotions with empathy: ‘I know it can feel disappointing when a post does not get as many likes as you had hoped for.’ After validating their feeling, you can gently guide their perspective: ‘It is important to remember that your worth is not measured by numbers on a screen.’ 

Teach the Difference Between Real and Virtual Approval 

Explain that online likes and shares are often based on unpredictable factors like algorithms, timing, or passing trends, not on a person’s real value. You can contrast this with the stability of genuine friendships and family love, which do not fluctuate based on clicks and are far more meaningful. 

Encourage Confidence in Real Achievements 

Actively shift their focus, and your family’s praise, towards accomplishments that cannot be reduced to numbers. This could include learning a new skill, showing kindness to a sibling, helping others in the community, or trying their best at school. Celebrating these real-world achievements at home reinforces where true value is found. 

Model a Balanced Perspective Yourself 

Parents who avoid obsessing over their own digital attention or social media presence set a powerful example. By showing your child through your own actions that your confidence comes from your character, your faith, and your real-life connections, you reinforce the lesson that a person’s worth is not measured by digital applause. 

By consistently redirecting their measure of self-worth towards lasting values, parents can help their children to break free from the fragile and often exhausting trap of seeking digital validation. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that true honour and a stable sense of self-worth come from a person’s righteousness and sincerity in the sight of Allah, not from the fleeting attention or numerical validation of other people. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verses 13: 

‘ O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other…’ 

This verse provides the ultimate measure of a person’s value. It reminds us that real dignity and nobility are determined not by our popularity among people, but by our level of righteousness before Allah. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, 6446, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Richness does not lie in the abundance of (worldly) goods, but richness is the richness of the soul.’ 

This profound teaching clarifies that true confidence and richness are internal states that come from a contented and noble soul. They cannot be found in external sources of approval, such as wealth or, in today’s world, online likes. 

By grounding their child in these timeless reminders, parents can help them to see that digital engagement is temporary and often meaningless, while real, lasting confidence grows from sincerity, good deeds, and a strong faith. Over time, children can learn that their worth is already secure with Allah Almighty, regardless of how many likes or shares they may receive.