How to Live Patience, Not Just Know Its Value 

Parenting Perspective 

Struggling Does Not Mean You Are Failing 

It is very normal to feel the gap between what you know in your heart and what you manage in the moment with your children. Patience with little ones is one of the hardest and most constant tests of parenting, and it is important to remember that struggling does not mean you are failing. What matters is recognising the struggle and seeking ways to realign. 

Break Patience Down Into Smaller Habits 

One practical step is to break patience down into smaller, achievable habits. Instead of thinking of patience as an endless reserve, treat it as something you practise in short bursts. For example, when you feel irritation rising, pause and take one deep breath before you respond. That breath alone can be a bridge between reacting out of anger and responding with steadiness. Over time, those small pauses add up into a calmer presence. 

Manage Your Expectations to Soften Frustration 

It can also help to prepare yourself by managing expectations. Children will be messy, noisy, and repetitive. By anticipating this instead of being caught off guard, you can shift your mindset from ‘Why are they doing this again?’ to ‘This is what children do, and I can guide them through it.’ Reframing in this way softens frustration. 

Repair With Honesty When Patience Slips 

Another way to bridge the gap is to repair with honesty when patience slips. Telling your child, ‘I was too quick earlier, but I love you and want to try again,’ models humility and teaches them that even parents work on their character. This allows patience to be seen not only as a final result but as a living process they witness in you daily. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Patient Will Be Rewarded Without Measure 

Patience is a central virtue in Islam, and Allah Almighty has linked it directly with His reward. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verse 10: 

‘…Indeed, those people that were resilient shall be rewarded with what is their due, without any limitations’.’ 

This Verse is a reminder that patience is not about perfection but about sincere striving. Every time you hold back a harsh word or slow down your reaction, even for a moment, you are walking towards this immense reward. 

Whoever Tries to Be Patient, Allah Grants Patience 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Book 58, Hadith 7, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever tries to be patient, Allah will grant him patience.’  

This shows that patience is not something you must carry entirely by yourself. By trying, even imperfectly, you invite Allah’s help into your daily parenting. Knowing patience is valuable is the first step, but living it comes through consistent small efforts, supported by dua and trust in Allah’s promise. 

By combining small practical pauses with the intention of pleasing Allah, you transform daily frustrations into opportunities for worship. This bridges the gap between knowing patience and living it, allowing your children to see patience not as something unreachable, but as a daily practice rooted in love and faith.