How do we help our child process jealousy when they compare their life to influencers online? 

Parenting Perspective 

Validating Their Feelings 

Start by letting your child know that it is perfectly normal to feel a pang of jealousy when seeing curated versions of other people’s lives online. Instead of dismissing their emotions, you can say something like, ‘I understand why that might make you feel that way’. This validates their experience and opens the door for a more honest conversation. 

Deconstructing the ‘Perfect’ Image 

Gently guide your child to think critically about what they see. Explain that social media is a highlight reel, showcasing the best moments while hiding the ordinary, messy, or difficult parts of life. Discuss how sponsorships, editing, and staging all contribute to an image that is often beautiful but rarely a complete or realistic picture of someone’s life. 

Cultivating a Mindset of Gratitude 

Actively shift the focus from what they lack to what they have. Encourage your child to think about and even write down the unique blessings in their own life, whether it is good health, a loving family, safety, or a particular talent they possess. This practice of consciously counting their blessings is a powerful tool against feelings of envy and discontent. 

Turning Comparison into Motivation 

Help your child reframe their feelings. Instead of simply longing for what someone else has, guide them to identify what inspires them about a post and turn it into a positive goal. This transforms envy, which is a passive emotion, into inspiration for personal growth, such as learning a new skill or working on a creative project. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that true peace and contentment are found not in worldly possessions but in righteousness and gratitude for Allah’s blessings. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah An Nahl (16), Verse 97: 

‘Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while being a believer – We will surely cause them to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward according to the best of what they used to do…‘ 

This verse beautifully reminds us that a ‘good life’ is a direct promise from Allah to those who live with faith and perform good deeds. This inner contentment is far more stable and rewarding than the fleeting happiness that comes from material things displayed online. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ gave us a practical method for protecting our hearts from envy. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, 2513, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Look at those who are below you and do not look at those who are above you, for it is more suitable that you do not belittle the favours of Allah.‘ 

This profound guidance is a direct remedy for the comparison culture of social media. It teaches children to find peace by appreciating their own unique circumstances, which safeguards their hearts from resentment and helps them recognise the immense value of Allah’s blessings in their own lives.