How can parents decide what is the right age to give a teenager full access to their own phone? 

Parenting Perspective 

There is no single ‘perfect age’ for giving a teenager their own mobile phone. Every child matures differently, and the most important factor is not their age, but their demonstrated ability to handle the responsibility that comes with such a powerful tool. This decision should always be made thoughtfully, with parents carefully weighing their child’s readiness, context, and trust. 

Assess Maturity, Not Just Age 

Before making a decision, ask yourself some key questions: Does my child complete their existing tasks responsibly? Do they show honesty when faced with rules? Are they able to manage their friendships with respect and kindness? A child who struggles with self-control in smaller matters is unlikely to be ready for the significant responsibility of an unsupervised phone. 

Consider Purpose and Necessity 

Think about why the phone is being given. Is it primarily for safety reasons, such as for a child travelling to and from school alone? Is it to help coordinate family schedules? Or is it purely for socialising? A phone provided out of genuine necessity can be introduced with clear monitoring, whereas a phone given simply ‘because everyone else has one’ is more likely to lead to problems. 

Introduce Gradual Responsibility 

Instead of granting sudden, full access, it is often wiser to introduce the phone with limited functions. You could start with basic calls and messaging, and then gradually expand access to the internet and apps as your child demonstrates that they are trustworthy. This approach teaches them responsibility step by step. 

Revisit and Adjust Rules 

Even after a teenager has been given their own phone, the conversation does not end. It is important to check in regularly to discuss their online behaviour, revise limits if necessary, and reinforce your expectations. A phone is not just a one-time gift; it represents an ongoing trust between a parent and child that needs to be nurtured. 

By basing the decision on readiness and responsibility, rather than on social pressure or comparisons, parents can help ensure that a phone becomes a tool for growth and connection, not a source of harm. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic principles teach that a trust (amanah) should only be given to someone who has the capacity to handle it. In the same way, significant responsibilities should only be assigned when a person is truly ready to bear them. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfal (8), Verses 27: 

‘O you who believe, do not betray Allah and the Messenger, or betray your trusts while you know [the consequence]…’ 

This verse reminds us that giving a significant responsibility like a phone to a child before they are ready can be a betrayal of the trust we have to protect them. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1829, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you will be asked about his flock. A man is a shepherd over his family and will be asked about them.’ 

This teaching underscores the accountability parents have before Allah Almighty. Part of that accountability is making wise decisions about when and how they entrust new responsibilities to their children. 

By framing the decision to give a phone as a matter of amanah, parents can help their teenager to understand that freedom is intrinsically linked to trustworthiness. This approach fosters a deep sense of responsibility, gratitude, and accountability, both to their family and, ultimately, to Allah Almighty.