What should parents do when one child dominates family devices, leaving others feeling left out? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is common for one child to consistently monopolise shared devices, which can breed resentment and rivalry between siblings. Often, the dominating child may not even be aware of their unfairness, leaving their siblings feeling ignored, powerless, and undervalued. This situation presents a valuable opportunity for parents to teach fairness, mutual respect, and self-control. 

Set Clear Sharing Rules 

Establish clear and non-negotiable time limits for each child. Using a physical timer or a visible written schedule can be very effective in making these rules concrete and impartial. When the system is consistent and predictable, children learn that fairness is guaranteed, and arguments become less frequent. 

Teach Respectful Turn-Taking 

Actively encourage children to hand over the device willingly and graciously when their allocated time is over. It is important to praise and highlight moments when they share without prompting: ‘I really appreciate how you gave your sister her turn so kindly. That was very fair of you.’ This positive reinforcement helps to establish fairness as a valued family trait. 

Provide Alternatives While Waiting 

Help the waiting child to engage in another activity so they do not feel as though they are simply sitting on the sidelines. Suggesting a book, a drawing activity, or a board game can make the waiting period more manageable and reduce feelings of exclusion. 

Rotate ‘First Turns’ 

Often, the argument is not about the total time but about who gets to go first. Implement a simple system to rotate the order daily or weekly so that each child gets a regular chance to be first. This is a simple but powerful way of reinforcing fairness and reducing a common point of conflict. 

By creating a clear structure and consistently modelling fairness, parents can teach their children that shared devices are not just for entertainment, but are also tools for learning respect and consideration for others. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a strong emphasis on justice and fairness in all interactions, regardless of their scale. Therefore, teaching children to share household items like devices equitably is a practical way of building their character and fostering God-consciousness (taqwa). 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah An Nahl (16), Verses 90: 

‘Indeed, Allah commands justice, good conduct, and giving to relatives, and forbids immorality, bad conduct, and oppression…’ 

This verse reminds us that fairness and justice are divine commands that should be actively practised in our daily lives, including within the dynamics of our own families. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’ 

This direct instruction highlights the responsibility of parents to actively ensure fairness among their children, making sure that no child feels consistently overlooked or less favoured than their siblings. 

By grounding the rules of device-sharing in the principles of justice and kindness, parents can do more than simply put an end to sibling resentment. They can instil core values that children will carry with them into all future relationships. Over time, practising fairness in these small, daily matters helps to shape a stronger sense of responsibility and compassion in a child.