How can I show my child that I also follow the tech rules we set for them? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children have a keen sense of fairness and are far more likely to respect rules when they see that those rules apply to everyone. Modelling the behaviour you want to see is the most powerful way to teach it. 

Lead with Consistency 

Children are very quick to notice when adults do not practise what they preach. If your family rule is ‘no devices at the dinner table,’ make sure to put your own phone aside as well. This single, consistent action sends a powerful and silent message that the rule is for everyone. 

Share Your Own Boundaries 

Let your child hear you verbalise your own boundaries. Saying something like, ‘I am putting my phone on the counter now until after dinner,’ not only models self-control but also shows them that the rules are part of a shared family culture, not a restriction just for them. 

Invite Accountability 

You can even give your child permission to gently remind you if they see you slipping up. Responding with gratitude instead of defensiveness, such as saying, ‘Thank you, I needed that reminder,’ demonstrates that the boundaries are about mutual respect, not just parental authority. 

When children see you honouring the same limits, they are more likely to respect the boundaries themselves, because they feel fair and consistent. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, modelling the values we teach is an essential part of tarbiyah (a holistic approach to nurturing and development). Our actions often speak far louder than our words, and maintaining integrity in front of our children plants deep seeds of trust. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah As Saff (61), Verse 2: 

‘O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do?…’ 

This reminds us that living by our words is a sign of true sincerity in faith and is essential for our guidance to have a positive impact. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6464, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of deeds to Allah are the most consistent of them, even if they are few.’ 

This teaches us that steady and consistent adherence to our principles, such as family rules, carries more weight and blessing than occasional, grand efforts. 

By following the very rules you set, you not only maintain fairness but also teach your child that discipline is a shared value rooted in sincerity and consistency, both in family life and in faith.