How do I help my child see the value in waiting their turn for shared devices without resentment? 

Parenting Perspective 

Helping a child wait for a shared device can be challenging, but it is a key opportunity to teach fairness and self-control. The goal is to frame the experience positively, so they see it as a normal part of family life rather than a personal punishment. 

Explain the Reason Behind Taking Turns 

Children are much more likely to accept having to wait if they understand the reason for it. Instead of just saying, ‘It is not your turn yet,’ explain that sharing ensures everyone gets a fair chance. This helps to shift the focus from denial to fairness and mutual respect. 

Use Predictable Routines 

A clear and predictable schedule can significantly reduce arguments. You can create a visible chart or use a simple timer so your child knows exactly when their turn is coming. When they can see the routine and trust that it will be followed, the wait feels more manageable. 

Model Positive Waiting 

Let your child see that you also wait for your turn for shared things, whether it is for the television or the bathroom. By demonstrating patience in your own life, such as waiting calmly in a queue at the shop, you provide a powerful, living example for them to follow. 

Keep Them Engaged While They Wait 

Offer them an enjoyable alternative activity to do while they wait. This could be reading a favourite book, drawing, or helping with a simple task. This makes the waiting period feel productive and positive, rather than like wasted, frustrating time. 

By framing turn-taking as part of a family’s fairness and mutual respect, you help your child see it as a valuable life skill rather than a restriction. 

Spiritual Insight 

Patience while waiting for one’s turn is not just a social grace; it is a spiritual virtue. Islam teaches that developing self-control and treating others fairly are essential for building good character and strengthening relationships. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 200: 

‘ O you who are believers, be patient, and be resilient, and be constant, and attain piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may be successful.‘ 

This reminds us that perseverance, even in small, everyday matters like waiting for our turn, is a vital part of building a successful and balanced character. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2507, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer who mixes with people and is patient over their harm is better than the believer who does not mix with people and is not patient over their harm.’ 

This teaches us that interacting with others and practising patience, even when it feels difficult or inconvenient, makes us stronger in both our faith and our character. 

By encouraging your child to wait their turn with a positive mindset, you are nurturing their patience and their understanding of justice. This is a foundational skill that will help them approach life’s bigger challenges with grace and respect for others.