Responding When Your Child Deletes Posts for Not Enough ‘Likes’ 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child starts deleting their own photos or posts due to a lack of ‘likes’, it is a clear sign that their self-esteem is becoming dangerously linked to online validation. This behaviour reveals the immense pressure they feel to project a perfect image, where digital approval is mistaken for genuine worth. It is a critical moment for parents to respond with empathy and guide their child back towards a more stable sense of self. 

Validate, Don’t Dismiss 

Your first response should be to validate their feelings, not dismiss their actions. Avoid phrases like, ‘That is ridiculous’ or ‘Who cares about likes?’. Instead, try an empathetic approach: ‘It sounds like you felt really disappointed with the reaction to your post’. This simple acknowledgement shows that you take their emotions seriously, making them more receptive to guidance. 

Reframe the Meaning of Likes 

Gently explain that ‘likes’ are not a measure of a person’s value but are often the result of unseen algorithms, posting times, and passing trends. You can help them understand that many wonderful, talented, and kind individuals receive very little online attention, and this has no bearing on their actual worth in the real world. 

Encourage Authentic Expression 

Encourage a shift in mindset, from posting for approval to posting for self-expression. Remind them that the purpose of sharing is to show a part of their world or something they find meaningful, not to perform for an audience. This helps nurture their intrinsic motivation over a dependence on external praise. 

Build Offline Confidence 

The most powerful antidote to digital insecurity is real-world confidence. Be intentional about praising their character, celebrating their efforts in school or hobbies, and acknowledging their contributions to the family. The more valued and secure they feel in their offline life, the less power online approval will hold over them. 

Through this combination of empathy and gentle redirection, you can help your child internalise a crucial truth: online metrics are temporary and meaningless, while their true, inherent value is profound and permanent. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam provides a powerful framework for self-esteem by teaching that our worth is determined not by public perception, but by the sincerity of our intentions and the quality of our deeds. Internalising this principle gives a child the freedom to cultivate inner strength instead of chasing external approval. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Az Zumar (39), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the patient will be given their reward without account…’ 

This verse is a beautiful reminder that the ultimate reward comes from Allah alone, based on qualities like patience, not from the fluctuating approval of the crowd. It decouples our sense of value from worldly metrics. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Actions are but by intentions, and every person will have only what they intended.’ 

This foundational hadith teaches a vital lesson: the true value of any action lies in the intention behind it. What matters to Allah is our sincerity, not the public reaction it receives. 

By sharing these powerful Islamic teachings, you help your child anchor their self-worth in something eternal: the purity of their heart and their intention to please Allah. This shift in perspective builds profound resilience against the superficial pressures of social media, grounding their confidence in the certainty of faith.