How do I break the pattern if I have used tech as a quick fix during meltdowns? 

Parenting Perspective 

If technology has become your go-to tool during a child’s meltdowns, it has likely reinforced the idea that screens are the solution for emotional overwhelm. While it may stop the behaviour in the moment, breaking this pattern involves teaching your child how to regulate their big feelings in a calmer, more constructive way. 

Shift from Distraction to Regulation 

Rather than immediately offering a device, the new goal is to help them process the feeling. This involves shifting your focus from distraction to regulation. You can help them breathe, name the emotion they are feeling, and offer comfort through your calm presence or a gentle touch. 

Create a Calm-Down Toolkit 

It helps to have a dedicated set of non-tech items available. You can prepare a small ‘calm-down toolkit’ containing things like a favourite soft toy, colouring materials, play dough, or a sensory bottle. Guiding them to choose an item during distress helps to build healthier coping associations. 

Reduce Tech Gradually 

If your child expects a screen during every meltdown, a sudden stop may increase frustration. Instead, reduce their access to technology gradually. You could start by delaying the device for a few minutes while you focus on non-tech comfort. Over time, you can extend this period. 

Consistency is crucial. The more you respond to meltdowns with emotional guidance instead of technology, the more naturally your child will learn to turn to you, and their own inner resources, for comfort. 

Spiritual Insight 

From an Islamic standpoint, addressing problems with patience and wisdom is always better than seeking a quick, superficial fix. Helping a child through distress without an over-reliance on distraction teaches them the valuable qualities of resilience and self-control. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 200: 

‘ O you who are believers, be patient, and be resilient, and be constant, and attain piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may be successful…’ 

This reminds us that enduring with patience is a key principle that leads to lasting success, both in this life and the next. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2664, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless.’ 

This teaches us that true strength lies in addressing challenges directly and seeking solutions that build long-term benefit, rather than resorting to helplessness or avoidance. 

By replacing quick digital fixes with emotional guidance, comfort, and patience, you equip your child with coping skills that strengthen their well-being and their trust in you as a source of calm.