What signs show that my child is learning emotional avoidance from my screen use? 

Parenting Perspective 

If a child frequently sees their parents turn to a device during uncomfortable conversations or in response to stress, they may adopt this as their own coping mechanism. This pattern of emotional avoidance often develops subtly, so it is important to recognise the early signs. 

Watch for These Avoidance Patterns 

• Retreating to devices during stress: Notice if your child’s first instinct after feeling sad, disappointed, or anxious is to pick up a device. This can be a sign they are using it to numb their feelings rather than process them. 

• Avoiding conversations about feelings: They may actively change the subject, give very short answers, or physically reach for a screen when you try to discuss emotions, especially if this is a pattern they have seen in you. 

• A reduced tolerance for quiet reflection: Observe if your child seems uncomfortable with silence or quiet moments, quickly filling them with videos or music. This can mirror an adult habit of using screens to avoid being alone with their thoughts. 

• Preferring digital comfort over human support: If they consistently choose to soothe themselves with online content rather than seeking a hug or a conversation with you, it could be a learned pattern of avoidance. 

Recognising these behaviours as a possible reflection of your own habits gives you an opportunity to model a healthier way of processing emotions and to create more space for open, device-free conversations about feelings. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Islamic faith encourages us to face our emotional and spiritual challenges with patience and courage, rather than escaping into temporary distractions. True growth and strength come from engaging with what is in our hearts. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 43: 

‘ And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination…‘ 

This verse reminds us that patience and forgiveness are not passive states, but acts that require determination and strength. These are the virtues we should nurture in ourselves and our children, rather than the habit of avoidance. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong man is not the one who is good at wrestling, but the strong man is the one who controls himself in a fit of rage.’ 

This famous Hadith teaches us that true strength is found in mastering our emotional responses, not in avoiding our feelings. This is a powerful lesson to model for our children. 

By replacing your own screen-based avoidance with moments of calm reflection and direct conversation, you show your child that difficult feelings are not something to be hidden from. This teaches them that while technology has its uses, it should never be the primary refuge from the challenges of the heart.