How do I recognise when my child is copying my habit of checking the phone during conversations? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children are excellent mimics, and they often adopt the communication habits they observe at home without even realising it. If you regularly check your phone mid-conversation, your child may start to do the same. Recognising the signs early allows you to gently correct the course before it becomes their normal way of interacting. 

Watch for Parallel Behaviour 

The most obvious sign is when you see your own behaviour mirrored back at you. Notice if your child begins to glance at their own device while you are talking, or if they start giving short, distracted answers in situations where they used to be fully engaged. 

Observe Social Interactions with Others 

Pay attention to how they interact with other people. If you see them keeping a device in their hand while talking to a friend or sibling, it is often a direct reflection of the communication style they have learned is acceptable at home. 

Listen to the Tone and Pace of Their Replies 

Listen for the tell-tale signs of divided attention in their speech. A delayed response, a distracted ‘uh-huh’, or frequently asking you to repeat yourself are all indicators that their mind is elsewhere, just as yours might be when you are multitasking. 

By being mindful of these patterns, you can make gentle corrections in your own behaviour. This allows you to model the kind of full, respectful presence you hope for them to adopt. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, children are considered an amanah (a trust), and part of fulfilling this trust is modelling the good character and values we wish for them to develop. Our actions inevitably become their first and most powerful lessons. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Saff (61), Verse 2: 

‘O you who are believers, why do you say (to others) that) which you do not do (yourself)?…‘ 

This powerful question from Allah is a direct reminder of the importance of integrity. When it comes to guiding our children, there must be consistency between the behaviour we ask of them and the behaviour we practise ourselves. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1385, that the holy Prophet Muhammad $ﷺ$ said: 

‘Every child is born upon the fitrah, then his parents make him a Jew, a Christian, or a Magian.’ 

This profound Hadith highlights the immense power of parental influence. While it speaks of faith, the principle applies to everything: parents are the primary force in shaping a child’s habits, values, and their entire way of being in the world. 

By recognising when your child is mirroring your distracted habits, you have a precious opportunity. By consciously modelling attentive listening yourself, you can replace a potentially damaging pattern with one that nurtures respect, focus, and genuine presence for years to come.