What is the best way to explain to my child why I missed an important moment because of tech? 

Parenting Perspective 

When you miss an important moment with your child because you were distracted by technology, how you handle it can either repair the connection or deepen the hurt. The key is to be honest, take full responsibility, and show them that you are committed to preventing it from happening again. 

Be Honest Without Making Excuses 

Acknowledge your mistake simply and honestly. You could say, ‘I am so sorry I missed that. I was focused on a work email and I should have put it down’. It is important to avoid long excuses or any hint of shifting the blame, as this can make your child feel that their disappointment is being dismissed. 

Acknowledge Their Feelings First 

Before you explain yourself, make sure you validate their feelings. Let them know you understand the impact of your distraction by saying something like, ‘I can see you were really excited to show me that, and I am sad that I missed it’. Acknowledging their emotion first is a powerful way to show you care. 

Show a Clear Change in Behaviour 

An apology is only meaningful if it is followed by a visible change in behaviour. Make a small but clear adjustment, such as committing to silencing your phone during playtime. When your child sees your apology being put into action, they learn that your words are reliable and that you are serious about protecting your time together. 

By being sincere, validating their feelings, and taking visible steps to change, you can turn a moment of disconnection into a valuable opportunity to strengthen your relationship and rebuild trust. 

Spiritual Insight 

In the Islamic tradition, acknowledging our shortcomings and actively seeking to improve is a sign of good character. Taking responsibility for a missed moment is an act of humility that helps to preserve the trust within a family. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent…‘ 

This beautiful verse describes the qualities of the ‘doers of good’, which include self-restraint and the ability to pardon others. In a family context, this includes having the humility to ask for pardon when we fall short. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4251, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Every son of Adam makes mistakes, and the best of those who make mistakes are those who repent.’ 

This Hadith provides a powerful and comforting reminder that making mistakes is part of being human. The true test of our character lies not in being perfect, but in our willingness to admit our errors and sincerely try to do better. 

By admitting your distraction, validating your child’s feelings, and showing a real commitment to change, you are modelling the important Islamic values of humility, accountability, and striving for excellence in your conduct.