How can I reduce the feeling of ‘competition for attention’ without cutting tech completely? 

Parenting Perspective 

You do not have to eliminate technology from your home to make your child feel like a priority. The key is to structure your device use in a way that sends a clear and consistent message: they never have to compete for your love and attention. 

Create Tech-Free Connection Pockets 

Dedicate small but predictable pockets of your day to be completely tech-free. This could be during meals, at bedtime, or for the first ten minutes after everyone gets home. These guaranteed moments of full presence, even if brief, are incredibly powerful for building a child’s sense of emotional security. 

Visibly Pause Devices When They Approach 

When your child approaches you to speak, make a conscious habit of physically pausing your device use before you respond. The simple act of lowering your phone or closing your laptop sends a powerful non-verbal message that they are more important to you than whatever is on the screen. 

Share Your Plans for Screen Use 

If you need to complete a task online, be clear and communicative about it. Telling your child, ‘I need to be on a work call for the next thirty minutes, but I will be completely free right after’, helps to manage their expectations. This avoids uncertainty and reduces the feeling that they are in a constant, unpredictable competition for your time. 

When children consistently see their needs being acknowledged and responded to, they stop feeling overshadowed by technology, even when it remains a part of your daily life. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, giving others their due rights is a cornerstone of fairness and mercy. Ensuring our children feel prioritised over our worldly distractions is a practical way of fulfilling the great trust (amanah) that Allah has placed upon us as parents. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 26: 

‘And give those who are your relatives their due rights, and the needy and the traveller; and do not squander your wealth, extravagantly…‘ 

This verse reminds us that giving people ‘their right’ is a fundamental duty. This extends beyond material support to include the rights of our relatives to our time, our focused attention, and our sincere care. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1930, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever relieves a believer’s distress of the distressful aspects of this world, Allah will rescue him from a difficulty of the difficulties of the Hereafter.’ 

This powerful Hadith teaches us the immense value of relieving another’s distress. Easing our child’s emotional struggle when they feel they are competing for our attention is a beautiful act of kindness that is beloved by Allah. 

By consciously pausing your devices and creating guaranteed times for connection, you remove the sense of rivalry your child may feel towards technology and replace it with the certainty that they are, and always will be, your priority.