My child plays alongside me but keeps checking their device. How do I help them stay present? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child tries to divide their attention between playing with you and checking a device, they may be physically present, but their focus is fragmented. This split attention can water down the joy of your shared moments. Rather than demanding they put the device away, it is often better to help them shift into full engagement gradually. You could suggest a short, shared ‘device pause’, where you both agree to put screens away for just ten minutes while you play. Making it a mutual commitment helps the child feel respected, not controlled. 

Use Engaging Invitations 

To capture their full attention, use invitations that spark curiosity. Instead of a generic, ‘Let’s play’, try something more specific and interactive, such as, ‘Let’s see who can build the tallest tower in sixty seconds!’. A playful challenge or an appeal to their expertise can be more effective at drawing them into the present moment than the passive pull of a screen. 

Make Eye Contact and Match Their Energy 

Children will often mirror the energy and attention you give them. If you want them to be present, you must model that presence yourself. By putting your own phone away, making regular eye contact, and responding with genuine enthusiasm, you set the standard for engagement without needing to say a word. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teachings encourage us to turn away from meaningless distractions and to understand the profound influence we have on one another as companions. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mu’minoon (23), Verse 3: 

‘And those people that abstain from frivolous gossip…‘ 

This verse, describing the successful believers, highlights their ability to turn away from that which is vain or useless. In a modern context, this teaches us the spiritual discipline of turning away from pointless digital distractions to focus on what is truly valuable, such as connecting with family. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2378, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A man is upon the religion of his close friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.’ 

This Hadith speaks to the powerful influence friends have on one another. As parents, we are our children’s first and most important companions. If we are attentive, present, and engaged friends to them, they will naturally learn to mirror that behaviour back to us, strengthening their focus and our bond.