How do I help my child see conversations as valuable, not just a pause between online activities? 

Parenting Perspective 

When conversations are consistently squeezed between online activities, children can begin to view them as interruptions rather than valuable moments. The key is to make your exchanges feel enriching and rewarding on their own terms. Instead of waiting for a gap to appear in their screen time, try creating dedicated moments where conversation is the main event. This could be during a walk, over breakfast, or while completing a shared task together. 

Make Conversations Intrinsically Enjoyable 

Aim to make your conversations enjoyable in and of themselves. Ask creative, open-ended questions that go beyond the standard, ‘How was your day?’. A question like, ‘If you could invent a holiday, what would we celebrate?’, invites imagination and fun. When their ideas are met with genuine curiosity, they begin to associate talking with you as a pleasure, not a duty. Sharing your own light-hearted or vulnerable moments also models that conversation is a two-way street. 

Link Conversation to Connection, Not Control 

Be mindful of the purpose of your talks. If every conversation is about giving instructions or making corrections, your child will naturally prefer the escape of a screen. Ensure that you have plenty of conversations that are purely for bonding and connection, with no agenda other than to enjoy each other’s company. This balance is crucial for helping them see human interaction as a source of safety and pleasure. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teachings guide us to honour others by making space for them to be heard and by valuing their words as a reflection of their dignity. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mujadilah (58), Verse 11: 

‘O you who are believers, when it is said to you: “Make space for each other in the gatherings”, then try to accommodate each other; (and conversely) Allah (Almighty) shall accommodate you (with His mercy)…’ 

This verse teaches a profound lesson in social etiquette: we must actively make space for others. This applies not just to physical space, but to conversational space. By setting aside distractions, we ‘make room’ for our children to speak, showing them consideration and respect. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1927, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is enough evil for a man to belittle his brother Muslim.’ 

In a family context, this powerful warning extends to never treating a child’s contribution to a conversation as insignificant. When we show them that their voice truly matters, they learn that conversation is a gift, not an annoying interruption to their activities.