My child talks to me while glancing at their device. How do I help them practise real listening? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child talks to you while still looking at a screen, they are splitting their attention, which almost always leads to a shallow conversation. The goal is not to strictly demand eye contact, but rather to patiently build the habit of intentional listening. The most powerful way to start is by modelling it yourself. When they speak, put your own device down and offer them your full focus. You can also make gentle suggestions, like, ‘I find it easier to listen when I can see your face. Can we try that?’. This can be paired with small cues, like waiting for them to lower their device before you reply. 

Turn Listening into a Shared Value 

Try to make attentive listening a shared family value, rather than a rule aimed only at your child. This approach prevents them from feeling singled out or criticised. You can establish simple, device-free moments throughout the day, such as during meals or on the way to school. The more your child experiences the warmth and clarity that comes from an undistracted conversation, the more they will naturally begin to associate real listening with full presence. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, our faculties of hearing, sight, and heart are considered a trust from Allah, and using them with intention is an expression of our faith and love for others. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 36: 

‘And do not pursue (to meddle in matters) with which you have no knowledge; indeed, your hearing (everything you heard), your sight (everything you observed), your conscience (everything you thought), in fact, all of these (your faculties) shall be called for questioning (on the Day of Judgement)…‘ 

This verse serves as a powerful reminder that our senses are an amanah (a trust) from Allah. We will be held accountable for how we use our hearing, sight, and heart, which underscores the importance of giving our full, conscious attention when we listen. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2392, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When one of you loves his brother, let him inform him.’ 

This advice encourages the open expression of love. True, active listening is one of the most powerful non-verbal ways to show this love, as it sends a clear message to the other person: ‘You matter, and your words are valuable to me’. 

By combining gentle guidance with your own consistent example, you can help your child discover that the reward of real, present listening is far greater than the divided attention of a conversation filtered through a screen.