What is the Islamic way to explain why we do not watch certain shows, even if their friends do? 

Parenting Perspective 

When explaining to your child why your family avoids certain popular shows, it is important to focus on your shared values rather than on a list of prohibitions. This helps them to feel part of a positive family culture, rather than feeling deprived or controlled. 

Acknowledge Their Feelings and Frame Your ‘Why’ 

Start by acknowledging their feelings; it can be genuinely difficult to feel different from one’s friends. You could say, ‘I understand it feels strange when your friends talk about a show we do not watch’. Then, explain your ‘why’. You might say, ‘In our family, we try to be really careful about choosing things that keep our hearts and minds healthy and peaceful. Some shows might be popular, but if they include things that go against what we believe is good and kind, we choose to protect ourselves from them’. 

Normalise Having Different Family Cultures 

Help your child to understand that every family has its own unique culture and set of rules. Just as some families might have different bedtimes or rules about sugary foods, your family chooses entertainment that aligns with your beliefs. This approach reframes the situation from ‘We are not allowed to watch that’ to ‘We are a family that chooses what is best for us’. This gives your child a powerful sense of positive identity and dignity. 

Equip Them with Confident Responses 

Part of this process is equipping them with simple, confident, and non-judgmental responses they can use with their friends. You could practise short phrases with them, such as, ‘Oh, we do not watch that one, but we really like this other show,’ or simply, ‘That is not one of the shows my family watches’. This prepares them to handle peer situations without feeling embarrassed or resentful. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us to be conscious and deliberate in our choices, selecting what benefits us and avoiding what can harm our faith and character, regardless of what is popular. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verse 18: 

‘Those people that listen attentively to a saying, and then follow what is the best (content) from it; those are the people who have been guided by Allah (Almighty); and those are the people of rational understanding…’ 

This verse reminds us that true wisdom lies in our ability to discern and select the best from what we hear and see, not in simply accepting everything that is presented to us. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2378, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A man is upon the religion of his best friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends.’ 

This hadith teaches us that the influences we surround ourselves with, whether they are people or the media we consume, have a profound impact on who we become. By explaining to your child that your family’s choices are about staying true to your Islamic values, you give them a positive, faith-based reason for being different and help them to stand firm with quiet confidence.