What do I do if both children want to use the same device at once, especially when it is limited? 

Parenting Perspective 

When there is only one device and multiple children who want to use it, clashes can quickly spiral into full-blown arguments. Handling this moment fairly is not just about keeping the peace, but also about protecting the sibling relationship and teaching valuable life skills. 

Establish Clear Rules in Advance 

The most effective way to prevent in-the-moment battles is to agree on the rules for sharing before the device is even turned on. This could involve taking turns for equal, timed sessions or deciding on activities they can do together. This proactive approach removes the need for frantic negotiation and sets a clear, agreed-upon expectation for everyone. 

Use a Neutral, Visible Timer 

A timer is an excellent, neutral tool for managing turns. It is not ‘you’ telling them to stop; it is the timer. A physical timer that they can see counting down works especially well for younger children, as it makes the abstract concept of time feel concrete and fair. This simple tool can defuse countless accusations of unfairness. 

Have a ‘While You Wait’ Plan 

Make the waiting period feel less like a punishment by having engaging, non-screen options readily available for the child whose turn it is not. This could be a special set of art materials, a favourite book, or a small project they can work on. An appealing alternative shows that you are mindful of their needs, not just focused on the child using the device. 

Intervene with Neutral Consistency 

If an argument does arise, your role is to act as a calm and neutral facilitator. Calmly refer back to the rule that was agreed upon beforehand, without changing it mid-way. Your consistency is what builds your child’s trust in your fairness and teaches them that the boundaries are reliable. 

When children know the boundaries before a conflict starts, the challenge of sharing one device can become a valuable practice in patience, turn-taking, and mutual respect. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages fairness and wisdom in the distribution of all resources, especially when they are limited. This principle is a cornerstone of a harmonious family life. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 90: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) orders you to promote justice and benevolence; and to be generous towards (positively developing) those that are within your jurisdiction; and to prevent that which is immoral, acts of irrationality, and cruelty…’ 

This verse reminds us that justice (‘adl) is not just about strict equality but is also deeply connected to kindness (ihsan). In this context, it means managing the shared resource with a sense of goodness that avoids making either child feel oppressed or unfairly treated. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abi Dawud, Hadith 4943, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young ones and respect our old ones.’ 

This beautiful hadith teaches us that mercy towards our children is a foundational part of our faith. Guiding them through moments of conflict with gentleness is not optional but an essential expression of Islamic character. By treating the device as a shared blessing to be managed with fairness, you can guide your children toward gratitude, empathy, and cooperation values that will serve them long after the screen is off.