How do I talk to my child about feelings like envy in an Islamic way? 

Parenting Perspective 

Name the Feeling and Keep it Normal 

Many children feel envy when they see someone with something they want—a new toy, a better grade, or more attention from others. They may not know how to name the feeling, so it can come out as anger or unkind words. Helping your child to talk about envy honestly and gently teaches them to handle this feeling in a way that protects their heart. Start by explaining that envy is a normal feeling but must be managed with care. Use simple words: ‘Sometimes our heart feels tight because we want what someone else has. That feeling is called envy.’ 

Turn Envy into Hope 

Talk through real-life moments. If your child says, ‘It is not fair!’, pause and respond with, ‘It feels unfair, does it? Let us talk about that feeling.’ Remind them that wanting good things is okay, but wishing for someone else to lose their blessing can hurt our own heart. Practise phrases they can say when they feel envy: ‘I feel jealous, but I want to feel happy for my friend.’ Praise your child when they manage even a small shift in their attitude. You can also help them find positive next steps, like making Dua for their own wishes instead of dwelling on what others have. Over time, they learn that envy can be turned into hope and kindness instead of bitterness. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam guides us clearly when it comes to envy, warning us of its harm. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Falaq (113), Verse 5: 

‘(Refuge from) the wickedness of the envious when they are jealous. ‘

This reminds us that envy is like a hidden fire that can burn the heart if it is left unchecked. Teaching your child to talk about envy helps them to notice it before it takes root. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3849, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not envy one another, do not hate one another, do not turn away from one another, but rather be servants of Allah as brothers.‘

Teach your child that the best cure for envy is to make Dua for the person they feel jealous of and to ask Allah Almighty to bless them too. A simple prayer can be: ‘Ya Allah, give me good things too and make my heart clean.’ Explain that every time they fight envy with kindness, they protect their own heart from darkness and draw closer to the mercy of Allah Almighty. With your gentle reminders, your child will grow to see that envy is not the sign of a bad heart, but a feeling that can be softened through trust, hope, and gentle words.