How do I help my child comfort a friend who is upset? 

Parenting Perspective 

Presence Over Problem-Solving 

Knowing how to comfort a friend is a precious skill that teaches your child empathy and helps to build lasting friendships. Many children want to help but feel awkward or worry about saying the wrong thing. Start by helping your child to understand that they do not have to fix the problem; just being present with kind words is often enough. Use simple examples: ‘When your friend feels sad, you can say, “I am here for you. Do you want to talk or play?”’ Teach them that a gentle hug or simply sitting close by can mean a great deal when someone is upset. 

Practise and Model Empathy 

Practise simple phrases through role-play. Use toys or stories to show one friend comforting another. Remind your child that they do not have to force a sad friend to talk. Sometimes just listening or offering to play together is comforting enough. Praise any effort your child makes to be kind, even if it feels clumsy at first. Let them see you comfort others too; your example shows them what empathy looks like in real life. Over time, these small actions help your child to grow a caring heart and learn that friendships are strongest when we look after each other’s feelings. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages us to care for others’ hearts, especially when someone feels hurt or low. Comforting a friend is a beautiful form of mercy and a way to earn Allah Almighty’s reward. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Tawbah (9), Verse 71: 

‘And the believing men and the believing women, some of them are role models for each other; where they encourage (the doing of) positive (moral actions), and forbid (the doing of) negative (immoral actions); and they establish their prayer and make the benevolent donations; Zakah, and they (sincerely) obey (the commandments) of Allah (Almighty) and His Messenger (Prophet Muhammad ﷺ); those are the people upon whom very soon Allah (Almighty) will show His infinite mercy….‘

This reminds us that caring for each other’s needs, including emotional needs, is part of being true allies in faith. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2594a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Gentleness is not in anything except that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything except that it makes it defective.‘

When your child offers gentle words to a friend who is upset, they are living this Hadith in action. Encourage your child to make a small Dua, such as, ‘Ya Allah, help me bring comfort to my friend’s heart.’ This helps them to remember that their kindness is seen and rewarded by Allah Almighty. Through your patient teaching, your child will grow into a friend who holds others’ feelings with care and spreads warmth wherever they go.