How can I keep my marriage strong while caring for my SEN child? 

Parenting Perspective 

Remembering You Are Partners, Not Just Co-Parents 

Caring for a child with special educational needs (SEN) can put extra strain on a marriage, not because your bond is weak, but because the demands can feel endless. Many couples find themselves so focused on their child that they forget they are also a team who need care and time together. Start by reminding yourselves that you are partners, not just co-parents. 

Open Conversations and Protected Moments 

Have open conversations about your daily stresses without blame. Take turns listening and let each other finish without interruptions. Use gentle, honest words: ‘I feel exhausted when I handle bedtime alone, can we share this more?’ Small, regular check-ins help prevent resentment from building up. 

Protect moments to connect as husband and wife, not just mum and dad.³ This does not always mean elaborate date nights, even a cup of tea together after the children sleep, a short walk, or a quiet Dua together can keep your bond alive.⁴ Celebrate small victories as a team: ‘We handled that meltdown well today, Alhamdulillah.’ 

Sharing Tasks and Showing Appreciation 

Agree on how you will share tasks. If one of you does more therapy or appointments, discuss how the other can lighten household chores or childcare. A clear plan feels fairer than unspoken expectations. Finally, remember to show appreciation: a thank you, a kind word, or a small gesture can soften even the hardest days.⁵ 

Spiritual Insight 

Marriage in Islam is a partnership built on mercy, trust, and mutual support, especially in times of trial. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Ar Rum (30), Verse 21: 

‘And among His Signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy… ‘

This Ayah is a gentle reminder that your spouse is your source of comfort, and you are theirs. 

Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ showed his family love through small acts of service, gentle words, and patience in times of difficulty. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 1828, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Allah is not kind to him who is not kind to people. ‘

The best place to practise this is within your own marriage. 

Pray together for strength, saying: O Allah Almighty, place love and mercy between our hearts. Remind yourselves that caring for your child is a test that, when faced together, can strengthen your bond and multiply your rewards. Even the quiet, exhausting nights, the unspoken sacrifices, they are all seen by Allah Almighty. 

When you place your trust in Him, speak kindly to each other, and share the load with compassion, your marriage becomes a source of stability, for both you and your child, rooted in the mercy that Allah Almighty loves.