How can I help siblings understand their brother’s or sister’s needs? 

Parenting Perspective 

Using Honest and Simple Explanations 

When one child has special educational needs (SEN) or extra support requirements, siblings may feel confused, jealous, or even fearful. Helping them understand begins with honest, simple explanations. Use age-appropriate words: ‘Your brother’s brain works differently, so he needs more help with some things.’ Avoid overloading them with details, children absorb information best in small pieces over time. 

Encouraging Questions and Validating Feelings 

Encourage siblings to ask questions and share their feelings. Reassure them that all emotions, worry, frustration, even anger, are normal and safe to talk about. Give examples to show what they can do to help: ‘When you speak slowly, your sister understands you better.’ Remind them that while they are not responsible for all their sibling’s needs, they can still be caring and supportive. 

Celebrating Each Sibling’s Unique Strengths 

Celebrate each sibling’s unique strengths. Make time for one-to-one moments so they feel valued and heard. Praise any act of kindness they show towards their brother or sister. Explain that differences are part of every family, some people need more help in certain areas and less in others. A child who feels included and informed is more likely to develop empathy and patience, instead of resentment. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us to honour each member of the family with fairness, compassion, and respect for their differences. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujurat (49), Verse 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another… ‘

This Ayah reminds us of that diversity, even within a family, is a sign of Allah Almighty’s wisdom and a chance to grow in love and understanding. 

Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ showed kindness to children with different needs and reminded us that caring for others brings reward. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1705, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. ‘

This Hadith Shareef highlights that our duty as parents includes guiding siblings to care for each other with mercy and balance. 

Encourage your children to make small Duas for their brother or sister, teaching them that helping family is an act of worship. Gently remind them that showing patience and support can be a way of seeking Allah Almighty’s pleasure. With honesty, love, and faith, you help your children see that their sibling’s needs do not weaken the family, they strengthen your bonds in this life and your reward in the next.