How can I teach my child to understand their emotions? 

Parenting Perspective 

Naming Feelings and Building Emotional Vocabulary 

Helping your child understand their emotions is one of the greatest gifts you can offer them. Many children act out because they do not yet have the words to express big feelings like anger, fear, or sadness. Start by using simple words to name feelings in daily moments: ‘You look upset that we have to leave the park’ or ‘I see you are excited to show me your picture’. Label emotions without judgement. Books, stories, and pretend play are also powerful ways to build emotional vocabulary and show that all feelings are normal. 

Staying Calm and Modelling Emotional Honesty 

Stay calm when your child’s feelings overflow. If they shout or cry, kneel and listen instead of telling them to ‘stop it’. When they feel seen and heard, their outburst often softens. Offer gentle tools like deep breathing, squeezing a soft toy, or sitting in a ‘calm corner’. Most importantly, model emotional honesty yourself: ‘I feel tired right now, so I need a rest to feel better’. This shows your child that feelings come and go and can be handled safely. Over time, this builds trust, resilience, and an understanding that emotions are not scary, they are signals to be respected and managed with care. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours emotions as part of the fitrah, the pure, natural state that Allah Almighty created within every soul. Emotions are not shameful; they are signs that the heart is alive and aware. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shams (91), Verses 7–8: 

‘And [by] the soul and He who proportioned it and inspired it with its wickedness and its righteousness. ‘

This shows that understanding our inner world is a part of our faith journey. 

Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught us to guide emotions gently. It is recorded in Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘The strong person is not the one who throws his adversaries to the ground. The strong person is the one who contains himself when angry. ‘

This Hadith Shareef beautifully reminds us that real strength lies in emotional self-control, not in suppressing feelings. 

Teach your child that when they feel big emotions, they can turn to Allah Almighty too. Encourage them to say ‘Astaghfirullah’ when they feel angry or make a small Dua when scared. Small habits like this help children link emotional control with trust in Allah Almighty’s mercy. By guiding your child with patience and warmth, you build not just emotional intelligence but also spiritual strength, teaching them that their heart is safest when it stays connected to the One who created it.