How can I tell if my child’s behaviour is just a phase or something more? 

Parenting Perspective 

Normal Phases of Growth 

It is completely normal for parents to wonder if tricky behaviour is just a phase or something that needs extra help. Children grow and change so quickly, and their big feelings often come out through tantrums, clinginess, sudden fears or a bit of defiance. Most of the time these moments are simply part of growing up. They might be testing limits, adjusting to changes or needing support to handle strong emotions. 

Observing the Intensity and Frequency 

Watch for how strong the behaviour is, how often it happens and whether it affects daily life. Can your child calm down when you offer comfort or gentle words? Do they settle quickly after an upset? Many challenging phases pass with time, a steady routine and calm, loving guidance. 

Trusting Your Instincts and Noting Worrying Signs 

Even so, always trust your instincts. If your child’s behaviour feels extreme, unpredictable or stops them from joining in with others, take a closer look. Worrying signs include hurting themselves, losing skills they had before, withdrawing completely or not responding to your comfort. Keep a simple diary of what happens, when it happens and what helps. This will make it easier to explain things when you speak to your GP, health visitor or another professional. 

Asking for advice early does not mean you are labelling your child. It shows you care about helping them feel safe and understood. Children thrive when they are met with warmth, clear boundaries and steady patience. No worry is too small if it brings you peace of mind. If you ever feel unsure, reach out and remember you are not alone in wanting the best for your child. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, parents are trusted with a profound duty to guide and protect their children, and this includes observing signs that something may need extra care. Allah Almighty reminds us that trials and testing moments are part of life and can draw us closer to Him when met with Sabr and hope. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Balad (90), Verses 4–5: 

‘Verily, We have created man into hardship. Does he think that no one has power over him? ‘

This Ayah reminds us that challenges in parenting are not a sign of failure but an opportunity to build inner strength and deepen our trust in Allah Almighty’s wisdom. Behavioural difficulties can feel exhausting and isolating, but they may also soften our hearts and encourage us to turn to Allah Almighty through sincere Dua. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1385, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Every child is born upon the Fitrah. ‘

This Hadith Shareef is a gentle reminder that every child carries an innate goodness and pure nature, shaped by their circumstances and those who care for them. When a child’s behaviour feels worrying, respond with kindness and remember that Allah Almighty sees every tear and every whispered prayer. Making Dua for your child, seeking practical help, and creating a calm, supportive home are all ways of fulfilling your Amanah as a parent. Trust that no phase is wasted, each moment of difficulty, met with Sabr and Tawakkul, brings you closer to Allah Almighty’s mercy. Be reassured that with sincere effort and trust in Allah Almighty, even the hardest phases can become a source of growth for both you and your child.