How can I support a child who struggles to mix confidently with others? 

Parenting Perspective 

Understanding Their Nervousness 

Some children naturally feel shy around new people, and this can feel more noticeable when they learn at home rather than in busy classrooms. To help your child build confidence in social situations, start by understanding what makes them feel nervous. Do large groups feel overwhelming? Are they unsure what to say or how to join in? 

Starting Small and Practising at Home 

Begin with smaller, one-to-one playdates in familiar, comfortable places, your living room, a trusted friend’s garden, or a favourite quiet park. Practise social skills at home through gentle role play: how to greet someone, how to ask to join a game, or what to do if another child says no. Praise even the smallest effort to reach out, no matter how tiny, a single word or wave is a brave step. 

Avoiding Labels and Giving Space 

Avoid labelling your child as ‘shy’ in front of others, as this can make them feel trapped in that identity. Instead, describe them as thoughtful or observant. When they are in a social setting, stay close enough to give reassurance but allow them space to find their words, a few moments of quiet can help them gather confidence rather than needing you to jump in immediately. 

Remember, true confidence grows through small, repeated practice. Celebrate every bit of progress, however small. Some children will always prefer fewer, deeper friendships rather than being part of big, noisy groups, and that is perfectly healthy and beautiful in its own way, InshaAllah. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours every child’s unique nature, whether they are bold or reserved. 

Allah Almighty reminds us in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujurat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Let not a people ridicule another people; perhaps they may be better than them. ‘

This powerful Ayah shows that we should never belittle a child’s quieter nature, it may be the source of their sincerity and depth. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1974, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Gentleness is not found in anything except that it beautifies it… ‘

Supporting a sensitive child with gentleness is not just kind, it is Sunnah. Teach your child that confidence does not always mean being the loudest in the room. True confidence comes from knowing who you are and showing kindness and respect, even if your voice is soft. Encourage them to make Dua for courage and good friends who appreciate them for who they are. Show by example how to greet others warmly, resolve disagreements calmly, and include those who feel left out. Over time, your child will learn that they do not have to change who they are to ‘fit in’. With your love, Sabr, and spiritual guidance, they will grow into someone who uplifts others gently, a precious quality that pleases Allah Almighty and brings Barakah to their friendships. Trust that each small step you take now will help your child build real self-belief, rooted in faith and understanding.