How to Protect Your Son’s Spirit When He is Called ‘Too Soft’ 

Parenting Perspective 

This is a very real struggle for many parents. When a child shows kindness, gentleness, or emotional openness, some may wrongly see these qualities as weakness. The danger lies not in your son being ‘too soft,’ but in him internalising shame for being sensitive or compassionate. A parent’s role here is to act as a shield, protecting his spirit from harmful labels while guiding him towards balance. When people say your son is ‘too soft’ for being kind and expressive, what can you do? Learn how to protect his spirit without making him feel ashamed. 

Affirm His Qualities 

You can begin by affirming his qualities directly. Tell him that kindness is strength, and that being expressive is a gift, not a flaw. When others make comments, redirect the narrative for your son by showing pride in his behaviour. For example, if someone says he is ‘too soft,’ you can respond calmly but firmly with, ‘I value his kindness; it is a quality the world needs.’ This not only reassures your son but also models dignity in how to handle criticism. 

Develop Resilience Alongside Gentleness 

At the same time, help him develop resilience alongside his gentleness. Encourage him to express his feelings clearly, to stand firm in his values, and to know when to set boundaries. This way he learns that kindness does not mean passivity, and expressiveness does not mean fragility. By creating environments where his traits are celebrated, through friendships, activities, and family interactions, you help him feel safe in who he is. 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anbiyaa (21), verse 107: 

‘And We (Allah Almighty) did not send you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ), except as a mercy for the whole of the trans-universal existence.’ 

This Verse reminds us that mercy and compassion are central qualities of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. To embody mercy is not weakness, but the very essence of strength and leadership. 

The Prophetic Model: Tenderness is Praiseworthy 

It is recorded in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ kissed his grandson, and a man present remarked that he never showed such affection to his children. The holy Prophet ﷺ replied: 

‘Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.’ 

[Al-Adab Al-Mufrad,19:10] 

This hadith shows that tenderness and affection are praiseworthy and integral to faith, not qualities to be shamed or suppressed.  

By anchoring your son’s upbringing in these teachings, you are raising him in line with prophetic character. When an individual pays attention to the child and invests a little time for the child for playing, then child then acknowledges it.  

Protecting his spirit means reminding him that kindness and expressiveness are deeply Islamic traits, while also equipping him with confidence and resilience. In this way, you preserve his gentleness while ensuring he grows with strength, balance, and dignity, without shame. 

When people say your son is ‘too soft’ for being kind and expressive, what can you do? Learn how to protect his spirit without making him feel ashamed.