How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Parents 

Parenting Perspective 

Comparison often arrives in when you are tired, unsure, or quietly doubting yourself. It appears as a silent question that why can other parents handle this better than I can? But what you are seeing is only one frame of someone else’s story. You are measuring your inner struggle against their outer image, and that is never a fair comparison. 

Every parent is carrying something and have varying issues, but some choose to keep it private, on the other hand some acquire others support. What you perceive as ‘coping better’ might be a reflection of a different season, personality, or set of pressures, not superiority. 

Shifting Away from Comparison 

To shift away from comparison, start by noticing when and where it arises. Is it after school drop-off? On social media? In conversations with other parents? Then pause and name what you are really feeling. Are you overwhelmed, lonely, or under-supported? These are not signs that you are failing, they are signs that you are human, and that something needs attention, not judgement. 

Bring Your Gaze Inward 

Instead of looking outward, bring your gaze inward. Ask yourself: ‘What do I value in my parenting? What effort am I making that nobody sees?’ This re-centres your self-worth on intention and integrity, not image. 

Be Mindful of Your Inner Language 

Lastly, be mindful of your inner language. If your thoughts begin with ‘I should,’ replace them with ‘I am trying.’ This softens the critical lens and helps cultivate acceptance, not resignation, but compassion-fuelled growth. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamically, comparison can become a thief of gratitude and a gateway to misplaced standards. Your worth is not measured by how your life looks next to someone else’s, but by the state of your heart and the sincerity of your efforts. 

A Reminder That Value Lies in Inward Striving 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Teen (95), verses 4–6: 

‘Indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created mankind with the best (designed) specification. Then we returned him (due to his deeds) to the lowest of the lowest positions. Except those people who believed and engaged in virtuous deeds, and for them there is an infinite reward.’ 

This reminds us that our value lies not in outward perfection but in inward striving and righteous effort. 

The Prophetic Model: Anchor in Gratitude 

It is recorded in Jami al-Tirmidhi that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Look at those who are lower than you and do not look at those who are above you, for it is more suitable that you do not belittle the favours of Allah upon you.‘

[Jami al-Tirmidhi, 37:99] 

This Hadith reorients us. It is a gentle instruction to resist the habit of comparison and instead anchor ourselves in gratitude and grounded perspective. 

You were not created to perform parenting like anyone else. You were created to do parenting with sincerity in your unique circumstances. Let your measure be your intention, not someone else’s projection.