Is sighing, eye-rolling, or showing contempt towards one’s spouse in front of the children considered a violation of Islamic etiquette? 

Parenting Perspective 

Yes, absolutely. Expressing contempt through non-verbal cues like sighs, eye-rolls, or dismissive gestures in front of your children can undermine both your spouse’s dignity and your child’s emotional safety. Contempt is one of the most corrosive behaviours in any relationship, and children are acutely sensitive to these subtle signs of disrespect. When a child consistently sees one parent responding to the other with exasperation, they begin to internalise damaging relational messages: that irritation is normal, and that love can coexist with disdain. Over time, this can shape how they themselves express disagreement, perhaps replacing empathy with sarcasm or emotional withdrawal. 

What your child is learning from silent contempt 

Unlike an open argument, silent contempt can be especially confusing for a child because it is rarely addressed. They may not hear shouting, but they can feel the emotional frost in the air, leaving them in a state of uncertainty. This chronic exposure can lead them to suppress their own feelings or begin mimicking the same patterns with their siblings and friends. To course-correct this, you must begin with small, intentional acts of self-awareness. Catch yourself before you roll your eyes, or name your frustration without projecting it: “I am feeling overwhelmed right now.” This simple shift not only protects your spouse’s honour but also gives your child a living model of restraint and emotional maturity. 

Spiritual Insight 

In the Islamic tradition, adab (etiquette) is not limited to just our speech; it encompasses our tone, gestures, expressions, and all unspoken behaviour. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ exemplified this with remarkable grace. He never showed contempt, even towards those who had wronged him. His silence was never cold, and his gaze never conveyed disdain. He preserved the dignity of others with such precision that even his pauses were filled with rahmah (mercy), not resentment. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them… ‘

This divine command does not only apply to verbal ridicule; its spirit absolutely includes mockery expressed through facial expressions, tone of voice, or dismissive gestures. An eye-roll or a sigh of derision falls squarely within this prohibition against contempt. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 91b, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who has, in his heart, an atom’s weight of pride will not enter Paradise. ‘

Contempt is essentially pride in motion; it is the belief that one’s own annoyance or feeling of superiority justifies the belittling of another. When this is displayed in front of a child, the damage is multiplied. So yes, even silent contempt is a violation of Islamic etiquette and a disservice to the prophetic character we are meant to embody. However, every moment of self-restraint, every softened sigh, and every glance of gentleness instead of judgement plants a seed of spiritual beauty that your child will absorb. By choosing to embody this higher adab, you teach them that love is not just about what we say, but about how we choose to see and treat one another.