My spouse often mocks or teases me in front of the children, even if it is meant as a joke. I worry this erodes respect. How do we handle this gently? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Unintended Impact of Teasing 

Even subtle teasing, when executed repeatedly or at an inappropriate moment, can silently influence a child’s perception of emotional safety, respect, and power in relationships. What may appear to be a harmless jest between spouses can be misinterpreted by a child as embarrassment, disapproval, or imbalance, especially if one parent sits silent, appears uncomfortable, or laughs awkwardly to smooth things over. Children are very perceptive. If children watch one parent constantly criticising or insulting the other, even with a smile, they may internalise distorted emotional norms, such as the idea that jokes can trump kindness, that contempt is okay if it seems amusing, or that love accepts emotional imbalance. Over time, this can damage the model of mutual respect that children so need to see in their homes. 

A Strategy for a Gentle Conversation 

This dynamic should be addressed kindly and not defensively. Choose a peaceful moment when you are both relaxed and unhurried. Express your worry as a common responsibility, rather than a personal charge. You may say, “I realise you mean it jokingly, but when the children see me being mocked, I am concerned about what they are learning about respect and tone. I would like us to show them that laughter and dignity can coexist.” If the teasing is truly mutual, friendly, and emotionally safe, and both parents plainly enjoy it, as it may be less worrying. However, if one parent feels diminished, the barrier has already been crossed, regardless of the intentions. Mutual respect must be apparent and maintained, particularly in front of children. You are not only defending your own dignity; you are demonstrating what love with self-respect looks like. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam emphasises that humour is permissible, while ridicule is prohibited. The distinction is between intention, impact, and tone. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was known for his light-heartedness, yet never used humour to belittle or upset others, especially at home. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation… and do not insult each other; and do not call each other by (offensive) nicknames….’ 

This command is universal, but when applied at home, it becomes extremely imperative. The dignity of a spouse should not be mocked, even in joke, especially in front of children who are still learning the importance of language. It is also recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4682, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, 

‘The most perfect believer in respect of faith is he who is best of them in manners. ‘

This goodness is assessed not just in acts of service, but also in tone, respect, and how we treat and speak to one another when others are looking. By gently setting boundaries regarding humour and safeguarding the tone of your marriage in front of your children, you are teaching them that true love never comes at the expense of someone’s dignity , and that emotional safety is an essential component of prophetic character.