My child sulks, rolls their eyes, or groans dramatically when asked to do something. How do I discipline that kind of attitude without overreacting? 

Parenting Perspective 

Nonverbal displays of resistance, such as eye-rolling, sighing, or sulking, are a common way for children to express their disapproval. While these actions may seem less serious than shouting or outright defiance, they often reveal an underlying attitude of disrespect that needs to be addressed calmly but firmly. Ignoring the behaviour allows it to become a habit, while overreacting can escalate a minor issue into a major power struggle. 

Naming and Neutralising the Attitude 

The key is to treat the attitude just as you would a misbehaviour: with a consistent, non-emotional correction. For example, if your child rolls their eyes when you ask for help, you can calmly state: ‘That eye-roll was disrespectful. I need you to use your words if you have something to say’. Then, immediately return to the original instruction: ‘Now, please do what I asked’. 

Avoid using sarcasm or shaming language, such as ‘Oh, are we too important to help out now?’. While such comments might offer you a moment of satisfaction, they damage the relationship and breed resentment. A brief, impartial correction is far more effective. 

The Importance of a Calm Follow-Through 

If the attitude continues, you must apply a logical and pre-planned consequence: ‘Since you are not ready to respond respectfully, you will lose this privilege until I see better cooperation’. After the moment has passed and your child is calm, you can have a short, reflective conversation: ‘You do not have to like every instruction I give, but I do expect you to respond with respect. That is how we treat each other in this family’. 

It is also important to model respectful disagreement yourself. This teaches your child that their tone and body language are a critical part of communication. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, respect extends beyond our spoken words to include our expressions, our tone, and our very presence. Even subtle displays of contempt are discouraged because they weaken the bonds of honour and discipline that are essential to family life. 

The Significance of Small Manners 

This famous verse, while directed at how children should treat their parents, reveals a broader divine principle: even the smallest signs of disrespect, like an impatient sigh, are significant in Islam. Our manners are a reflection of our faith. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Isra (17), Verse 23: 

‘Say not to them [so much as], ‘uff,’ and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.‘

The Command of Mutual Respect 

This Hadith establishes mutual respect as a cornerstone of the believing community, starting in the home. It applies to the way elders treat the young and, just as importantly, how the young interact with their elders. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1921, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young and respect to our elders.‘

By calmly correcting a disrespectful attitude, you are teaching your child that their demeanour is not a minor detail; it is a fundamental part of their character. An essential part of parenting with justice is shaping not only what our children do, but also the manner in which they do it.