How to Carry the Responsibility of Parenting Without Shame 

Parenting Perspective 

Feeling overwhelmed by the weight of parenting does not mean you are ungrateful or failing. It means you care deeply. When you know that your child is an Amanah, a sacred trust from Allah Almighty, it can magnify your sense of responsibility to the point that it becomes emotionally restricted. You may find yourself thinking, ‘If this is a trust, then why do I feel like I am barely surviving?’ or ‘Why do I feel resentment when I should feel honoured?’ 

Even the greatest trusts in life come with struggle. The sacredness of the role does not erase its exhaustion. In fact, it is often because you recognise its importance that you feel the weight so heavily. 

Honouring the Trust Does Not Mean Never Struggling With It 

You are not weak for feeling burdened. Recognising the difficulty of parenting is not a betrayal of trust. It is a sign that you are awake to its reality. Hard does not mean wrong. 

You were never meant to carry it alone. Islam does not expect parents to perform with perfection, but to strive with sincerity. The weight of Amanah is meant to be carried with Allah, not instead of Him. 

Resentment is not rejection. You can love your child, honour the Amanah, and still feel depleted. These emotions can coexist. Parenting is an experience which has several aspects and it is not a constant state of clarity or joy. 

Reset the standard. Being a trustworthy parent is not about smiling through pain. It is about turning to Allah even in the pain, saying, ‘Help me honour this trust in the messiest of ways.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Allah Almighty knows how heavy the Amanah of parenting can feel. He did not assign it without preparing your soul to carry it, with divine help close at hand. 

A Reminder That Your Capacity is Greater Than You Think 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), verse 286: 

“Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity…” 

This means that even when the weight feels unbearable, your capacity, with Allah, is greater than you think. Your pain does not invalidate trust, neither does crying cancel your effort. 

The Prophetic Model: Your Difficulty is a Spiritual Elevation 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

“If Allah wants to do good to somebody, He afflicts him with trials.” 

[Sahih Bukhari, 5653] 

Even the difficulty you feel because of your Amanah is a spiritual elevation, not a condemnation. It is not shameful to cry over something sacred. It is not disgraceful to feel tired in the service of your child. This is the path of a human who is trusted, tearful and has faced many difficulties. 

At the time of parenting feeling unbearably tough,68 do not see yourself as unworthy of trust. See yourself as in need of divine help to uphold it. That is what makes you trustworthy in the sight of Allah Almighty.