My child is closer to me than to their father. How can I help build a stronger bond between them? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Impact of an Imbalanced Bond 

It is not uncommon for children to develop a stronger connection with one parent, typically the one who is more emotionally engaged or physically present. However, over time, this imbalance may unintentionally affect the child’s perception, making the other parent appear remote, less caring, or less relevant. This is emotionally damaging for both the parent and the child. 

Fostering Connection Through Small Gestures 

To close the gap, rely on tiny, consistent gestures rather than large-scale attempts. Invite the less-connected parent to participate in simple everyday rituals such as bedtime Dua twice a week, shared mealtimes, or a stroll to the local mosque. Frequent, low-pressure presence fosters familiarity and emotional recall. Encourage your spouse’s particular strengths. If they are calm or thoughtful, emphasise this as a gift, for example, Perhaps you can help him understand things in a calm way, you do that so well. This alters the child’s perception from noticing absence to recognising intention. Do not compare either parent, especially in front of the child. Privately work on changing positions. Perhaps your partner leads some rituals; show your child that you both work together. Through time, these brief instances of collaboration foster harmony and trust. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, family life revolves around connection and compassion. A child thrives when both parents demonstrate mercy, patience, and engagement. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

“And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you loving tolerance and kindness; indeed, in this there are Signs (of the infinite truth) for the nations that have realisation. “

The verse reminds us that love and mercy are not just for spouses; they are the foundation of family life. When both parents demonstrate these ideals in front of their child, they do more than just parent; they model divine signals. It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3665, that some Bedouin people came to the Prophet ﷺ and asked, ‘Do you kiss your children?’. He replied, ‘Yes’. When they said they did not, the Prophet ﷺ said: 

“What can I do if Allah Almighty has taken away mercy from you?“ 

This Hadith confirms that affection is not optional, but rather necessary. A father’s presence is important, and even modest acts of kindness can create emotional bridges that endure a lifetime.