How do I regulate my emotions when I feel I have to keep it together in front of the children but I am falling apart inside? 

Parenting Perspective 

It can be hard to keep your composure when you are feeling overwhelmed. Regulation, however, does not imply deceit. That is modulating. Try using straightforward but age-appropriate language: I am trying to remain calm, but Mum is having a really difficult moment. This enables emotional openness without putting the child under undue stress. Apply gentle grounding techniques; if you feel wobbly, sit down, extend your fingers, or rub your palms together. Later, give yourself permission to write, talk to someone, or cry. Your breakdown is not a sign of weakness. You are smart for figuring out safe, gentle ways to release it, and human for suppressing it.

 Click below to discover meaningful books that nurture strong values in your child and support you on your parenting journey:

Spiritual Insight 

The noble Quran reminds us in Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

“Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity….. “

This verse is more than just consolation; it is divine affirmation of the inner battle you keep to yourself. Deep emotional sensitivity was also displayed by the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, who wept in prayer and moaned in sorrow while remaining composed for those around him. It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 924, that upon seeing Sa’d bin Ubada in a swoon, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ wept. When the people saw him weeping, they also began to weep. He said: 

“Listen, Allah does not punish for the tears that the eye sheds or the grief the heart feels, but He punishes for this (pointing to his tongue), or He may show mercy. “

The goal of emotional regulation is to purposefully control discomfort rather than to ignore it. ‘La hawla wa la quwwata illa billah’ (meaning ‘There is no might nor power except with Allah’) is a potent Dhikr that can be said in silence to centre the heart when it starts to waver under stress. When you want to break down, you are not failing. By choosing to remain calm and submit to the One who recognizes and respects your hidden Sabr, rather than suppressing it, you are achieving in the most holy way possible. Even in times of weakness, your stability gives you and your children spiritual strength. 

Click below to discover meaningful books that nurture strong values in your child and support you on your parenting journey: