How do I know if my parenting style is building trust or fear? 

Parenting Perspective 

Signs of a Trust-Based Approach 

Even during times of discipline, emotional safety is established by a trust-based parenting approach. Children are comfortable enough to ask questions, confess their faults, and voice their anxieties. They do not hesitate to approach the parent. Eye contact, unplanned love, and reaching out after misbehaviour are all indications of trust. 

Signs of a Fear-Based Approach 

On the other hand, it can be a sign that fear has taken the place of connection if a child hides their emotions, becomes overly silent, or refrains from sharing. 

Restoring Trust After Mistakes 

When mistakes are addressed with direction rather than shame and when discipline is kind but unambiguous, trust is increased. Restoring rifts by offering heartfelt regrets or understanding justifications shows the child that love endures even when boundaries are crossed. Although they will not be flawless, a child who feels emotionally secure will be open to re-establishing contact. 

Spiritual Insight 

Fear is not the foundation of Islamic relationships. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity…‘

Discipline should not feel crushing. It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3689, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺcorrected children gently, guiding rather than punishing. He said: 

‘Allah Almighty is Gentle and loves gentleness in all things.‘

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ gave children compassionate corrections and helped them feel respected rather than scared. A child’s readiness to stay receptive, even when corrected, is a significant indication that the bond is based on trust rather than fear. Make that your guiding principle as a parent. 

Click below to discover meaningful books that nurture strong values in your child and support you on your parenting journey: