How can I create a calm-down corner or space for my child?
Parenting Perspective
Assisting young children in handling intense feelings such as anger or distress starts with creating stable and nurturing surroundings. A designated calm-down area, when implemented consistently and with care, can provide a child with both a physical and emotional cue that it is okay to take a break, think things over, and later re-engage with the situation in a more controlled manner. This is neither a place for punishment nor a method of isolation. Instead, it serves as a helpful tool that subtly guides children in developing self-control. A quiet corner with a soft mat, some books, a Dua card, or sensory items can create a calming space for settling down.
Since young children are frequently overwhelmed rather than wilfully misbehaving, this approach respects their developmental period. The calm-down area serves as a pause to prevent things from getting worse. To be effective, the child needs to connect it with feelings of comfort and calm, rather than feelings of exclusion or guilt. Presenting this tool during peaceful moments, with straightforward expressions such as ‘this is your space to feel better,’ provides the child with a sense of ownership and comfort. As time goes on, they become aware of their triggers and choose to use strategies instead of reacting impulsively. Calm-down spaces are most effective when adults demonstrate calm behaviour and assist the child in rejoining the group or activity when they feel prepared.
Spiritual Insight
From an Islamic viewpoint, providing our children with tools to manage their behaviour is essential for nurturing them with compassion, Sabr, and dignity. Allah acknowledges the complexity of human emotions and offers guidance on handling anger and emotional situations. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134:
‘Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.’ This verse advises adults on managing their anger and emphasises that learning to control anger is a valuable skill to develop from an early age. When parents guide their children to take a moment and think before acting, they are helping them build an inner sense of direction based on awareness and kindness.
It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated:
‘The strong is not the one who overcomes people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger.’ Utilising a calm-down space reflects an important principle; it helps a child understand that true strength comes from self-control. When approached with purpose and compassion, it transforms into an act of Tarbiyah, which is a method of nurturing a child to foster a sense of responsibility to Allah Almighty. It offers a response that respects faith and emphasises discipline through kindness and trust, instead of fear or punishment. These small practices assist in integrating Islamic values into the daily routine of family life.
