How can I teach calming techniques to a very young child?
Parenting Perspective
Assisting a young child in learning calming techniques starts with recognising their developmental stage. Young children and toddlers often do not have the words to communicate their feelings of frustration or fear. As a result, their distress may manifest through crying, screaming, or other physical actions. At this stage, children are very attuned to the emotional atmosphere around them. Having a calm and steady adult nearby can be a crucial and effective way to help them learn self-regulation. Calmness must start with the parent. By showing slow breathing, using a gentle voice, and providing steady responses, the child can start to understand what calmness is and how it appears. Methods like counting at a steady pace, repeating a brief phrase, or holding a soothing item can assist in managing strong emotions. Repetition is important; the child might not understand the practice right away, but consistent and gentle reinforcement helps make it familiar.
It is essential to implement calming techniques during peaceful moments, rather than waiting for a meltdown to occur. Engaging in slow breathing or setting aside ‘quiet time’ during positive moments helps establish these practices as resources that the child can utilise in the future. Encourage your child when they try to use the calming approach, instead of only pointing out when they fail. Implementing visual signals or a designated ‘calm corner’ can help your child recognise when it is time to take a break and regain their composure. This slowly becomes a part of their emotional language and understanding of themselves.
Spiritual Insight
Allah Almighty has granted parents a special role in teaching emotional discipline with mercy. In the noble Quran at Surah Al Shams (91), Verses 7–10, Allah Almighty states: ‘And by the soul and how it is designed (for infusion into the body).Thus, We have designed (the soul with discretion) for wickedness and piety without any doubt success is for the one who developed purity (of the self) and indeed, failure is for the one who embraces (the darkness of ignorance and immorality).’ This highlights that even from an early age, humans are created with an internal compass that can be nurtured. Parents play a foundational role in helping children purify their responses, not through harshness, but through guidance and patience.
It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4807, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: ‘Allah is gentle, likes gentleness, and gives for gentleness what he does not give for harshness.’ This Hadith highlights the importance of teaching with kindness and maintaining a composed approach to discipline. Helping a child learn to be calm involves more than just controlling anger; it requires fostering patience and building trust within themselves. When parents assist children in identifying their emotions and provide strategies for handling them, they are embodying a commendable character. Over time, this method helps children to react with more awareness, responsibility, and emotional stability. This action demonstrates compassion, both in the immediate situation and in equipping them for the broader environment ahead.
