How can I use routine and structure to reduce emotional outbursts?
Parenting Perspective
Young children frequently encounter difficulties with intense emotions due to their brains still maturing in the capacity to handle change, disappointment, or abrupt demands. Emotional outbursts, particularly tantrums, are frequently provoked when a kid experiences feelings of overload, uncertainty, or a lack of control. A constant daily schedule provides children with a clear understanding of subsequent activities and fosters a sense of emotional security. Consistent routines can markedly alleviate anxiety in children, as they are not needed to continually adjust to fluctuating expectations. When routines incorporate serene transitions between activities and explicit notifications prior to changes, such as stating, ‘In five minutes, we will tidy up,’ it enables children to prepare themselves intellectually and emotionally.
Employing structure does not imply inflexibility. Flexibility may still be maintained within a dependable framework. Utilising visual aids, such as charts or basic pictorial schedules, is particularly beneficial for younger children or those experiencing speech problems. Structure provides youngsters with a sense of agency within secure parameters, so reducing the likelihood of emotional overwhelm. Over time, a routine fosters self-regulation, as the kid learns that each segment of the day has its designated time and purpose, encompassing periods for relaxation and play.
Spiritual Insight
Islam values consistency in daily habits, not only for adults but as part of the nurturing process for children. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 23: ‘And your Sustainer has decreed that you do not worship anyone except Him Alone; And (treat) parents favourably; whether one of them or both of them reach old age in your lifetime; then do not say to either of them ‘Uff’ (an expression of disrespectful frustration) and do not admonish them; and talk to them with kind words.’ Although the focus of this verse is filial piety, its spirit of kindness and consistent moral conduct begins at home in the way parents interact with their children. Being gentle and structured is an act of mercy, modelling what Allah Almighty expects of us all.
Furthermore, it is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6464, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: ‘Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately and know that your deeds will not make you enter Paradise, and that the most beloved deed to Allah is the most regular and constant even if it were little.’ This Hadith emphasises the importance of consistency, which is particularly relevant to parenting practices. When parents maintain consistent routines with their children, even through simple actions like a designated bedtime or regular mealtimes, it promotes emotional stability. Instructing children by using repetition and consistent routines aligns with the gradual and steady approach found in the Prophetic traditions. It also creates an environment where patience and mercy can be practiced as core values in the family home, fostering an emotionally stable and spiritually conscious atmosphere.
