How do I deal with tantrums around bedtime or when it is time to stop screen time?
Parenting Perspective
Bedtime and transitions from screens represent critical junctures in the daily routine of a child. During such instances, it is not uncommon for children to experience feelings of being overwhelmed, overstimulated, or, indeed, resistant to ceasing an activity that they find enjoyable. It is a well-established fact that tantrums during transitional periods are prevalent among young children. This phenomenon can be attributed to their limited capacity to regulate emotions and their struggle to comprehend expectations that are bound by time. In order to effectively address this matter, it is imperative that we prioritise consistency and thorough preparation. It is imperative that parents establish a consistent routine, thereby ensuring that the child is aware of forthcoming events and experiences a sense of security. The implementation of verbal cues, specifically stating, ‘In ten minutes we will switch off the screen,’ accompanied by a composed and precise countdown, serves to assist children in their mental preparation. It is imperative for parents to mitigate the risk of overstimulation by deliberately avoiding fast-paced screen content, particularly in the hours leading up to bedtime. During the nighttime hours, it is imperative that the established routine incorporates soothing activities. This may include the gentle listening of soft recitations or engaging in quiet reading, both of which serve to effectively guide the child towards a state of restful slumber. If a tantrum arises, it is imperative to respond with composure, reiterate the established boundaries with both firmness and gentleness, and permit the child to articulate their feelings of frustration, all while maintaining a steadfast position without yielding to demands. It is evident that, over time, a consistent structure serves to instil a sense
of safety and support in the child, thereby facilitating a greater ability to anticipate transitions with increased ease.
Spiritual Insight
Islam emphasises the importance of gentle parenting, especially when emotions run high. It is not only about managing a tantrum but also about guiding a child’s character in a way that aligns with the values of Sabr, mercy, and consistency. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 17: ‘O my son, establish your prayers, and (seek to) promote positivity, and (seek to) diminish negativity; and be patient with what afflictions you come across; indeed, these (matters require) fortified determination.’ This verse reminds parents that being patient in raising their children is a sign of determination and strong values. Helping children navigate daily challenges, like switching from screens to bedtime, is an important aspect of teaching them what is right.
Furthermore, it is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2594a, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: ‘Kindness is not to be found in anything but that it adds to its beauty, and it is not withdrawn from anything, but it makes it defective.’ This Hadith is especially important when a child’s behaviour tests a parent’s patience. By demonstrating self-control and maintaining a balance of firmness and kindness, parents can embody the Prophetic example in their households. The challenges of bedtime and screen time present chances to establish clear boundaries and encourage emotional growth in a faith-based setting. Incorporating Duas before sleep and making short, calm reflections part of the routine can strengthen the spiritual bond between parent and child, helping them settle both emotionally and spiritually.
